Women’s Ministries

13 Celebration October 26, 2011

Several women in our community have started a very special tradition, and I am so excited to share it with you!  Please read the invitation below.

YOU ARE MADE IN THE IMAGE OF GOD

The journey to adulthood has always been a time of transition.  In our culture there are few rites of passage or meaningful ceremonies to honor this transition.  We would like [name_of_girl]‘s 13th birthday to be both a celebration of her uniqueness and belovedness in Christ and an opportunity to encourage and commemorate her journey into womanhood.  As her sisters in Christ we invite you to gather around [name_of_girl] and celebrate this milestone.

Enclosed in this invitation is a blank card.  On one side please select a Bible verse or passage of Scripture.  On the reverse side we encourage you to write one of several things: a brief explanation of why you chose this verse for her, a blessing for her, a promise, advice that was helpful to you or would have been helpful to you on your own journey to adulthood.  During the party there will be a time for you to share this card with [name_of_girl].

More than anything, we want [name_of_girl] to begin her 13th year rooted in the knowledge that a community of women loves her: a community that will help her challenge a culture that contradicts her sacredness, will listen to her, relate with her and pray for her.  We hope the memory of this celebration will be an endearing reminder that she is fearfully and wonderfully made.

How cool is that?!  This is an invitation to all the important and influential women in a young girl’s life to celebrate her journey to adulthood.  As the girl’s 13th birthday approaches, the invitations are mailed and the date is set for the 13-year-old and all these women to get away together for a weekend celebration.  None of the young girls friends are invited–only women who have forged their way through the teenage years and survived to adulthood.  Their time together is spent pouring blessing and prayer over the young girl, reminding her that she is unique, beautiful, and fully supported in her journey.  The following is an excerpt from a letter the women read to young girl the first night of the celebration:

“[This is] an event to celebrate the milestone of turning 13, to celebrate this transition from girl to young woman….It’s challenging to be a teenage girl and yet we don’t have many opportunities for women to gather around young women to offer encouragement and wisdom and share stories and laughter.  In our busy lives it is rare that we have the luxury to join a community of women together and say, ‘We love you, we are so proud of you, you can depend on us.’  So today we have gathered to share our thoughts with you.”

And there’s more!  These inspiring and creative women that lead these celebrations also put together an art project.  Generally it’s something framed, that the young girl can go home with and hang on her wall in remembrance of her older “cheerleaders.”  Here are two examples:

They also do henna!

I am so inspired by this idea, the creativity of these women, and their deep desire to see their daughters, nieces, and young girls in their life succeed.  I can’t help but wonder what the next generation of women would look like if they knew and believed that they had a whole slough of Christian women supporting them, encouraging them, and cheering them on INTENTIONALLY.

Do you have someone in your life that could use this type of encouragement?  A young girl that could benefit from knowing that there are women around her who care about her, believe in her, and truly desire to see her go through her teenage years well?  Let this community of women inspire you and move you to action.  If you have questions or want more details, please contact me or leave me a note in the comments section.

{FYI: This community of friends also does the same type of celebration for boys turning 13.  The details are different but the idea is the same!}

God is Good August 21, 2010

by Konnie Drews

God is good.  God is good all the time.  I truly believe this, not because I have been blessed beyond measure or because I am on a mountain top right now.   I believe that God is good because I have truly experienced his grace and provision in the most unexpected ways and at the most painful times.

On February 19, 2010, I received a phone call from my mom saying that my older sister, Wendy was in the hospital in Sacramento.  They were not sure what was happening, but she was in ICU with a possible brain bleed.   My mom, step-dad, sister (Sherry) and I got a flight immediately as a result of guest passes that a pilot friend had a recently given to us.  Do I believe in coincidences?  No, I know that all-powerful, all-knowing God provides when we are in need.  We were on a plane within 3 hours of the initial phone call.  God is good.   When we arrived, the news was bad.  Wendy was unconscious and did not have brain activity.  She was pronounced brain dead due to bacterial meningitis.  She was an amazing, generous, fun and passionate woman, only 43 years old.  I miss her and I miss all the lost memories and opportunities.  Yet, I still say that God is good.   We can ask why she died so prematurely, but instead I choose to believe that God is in control and He is good.  He desires to reveal himself to us, if we take the time to look.

I am thankful for the times He shows himself so clearly because we are too weary to pursue Him.  The day after Wendy was pronounced, we went to her apartment to begin looking for legal and financial information.  She was fairly disorganized and had papers and photos and crafts mixed together in her office, as she recently moved.  Almost immediately upon shuffling papers, I came across a certificate of her baptism and pictures from when she was baptized back in 1992.  Was that a coincidence?  No, God is good.  In recent years, she had not been following God’s ways and so I was thinking about that and her recent choices, but finding those pictures gave me the assurance that all was right. At that moment, the peace of God came over me and I knew that she was with Him

God continued to show himself to us in amazing ways.  As we planned the memorial, we did not know where to turn, as we were not from Sacramento and Wendy was not actively attending church.  We made many random phone calls and ended getting a pastor and church to let us have it there just days after she passed away.  As we were driving up to the church, Sherry and I both recognized the church, having been there with Wendy previously seven years before.  The pastor knew Wendy and the church was familiar to us.  Was it a coincidence?  No, I know that God is good.  God’s fingerprints were all over the week following Wendy’s passing.  Today I still grieve the loss of my sister and honestly, I am not sure I have accepted it.  It is a huge hole in our family, yet I am thankful for the opportunity to know God in a new way.  There will always be trials, challenges, sickness and deaths for all of us.  But, God is good and always will be and He will be present during those times and we will find His fingerprints in each circumstance if we look.

Shattered Dreams April 1, 2010

article by Maria Loesell/photo by Christiana Childers

This summer I came to a place where the expectations I had for my 26 year old life were not the reality. And I didn’t know what to do. I hit rock bottom… and I hit hard. I am a visionary, a go-doer, a go-getter – and for all I tried to “go-get”, I came back empty and discouraged. And I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why God wasn’t helping me. God had given me such passions and desires in my life and I couldn’t stop from thinking, “Why aren’t you doing your part here, God? Why aren’t You giving me the desires of my heart like you promised? Why have you placed such strong passions in my heart but aren’t seeing them through?” I honestly thought God was torturing me. And then the darkness blinded me, and I sat alone and miserable.

“Uh, Shattered Dreams. Maybe I should read that book.” The book was lying on Pastor Wayne’s desk. I had already given up on life, on my desires and passions, but a glimmer of hope pressed through that day as I took the book home with me.

“Shattered Dreams” has rocked and changed my world! I had all these dreams for my life – all great and Godly dreams – and when they would shatter, I would get discouraged, give up, and then dust myself up and start dreaming again. Looking back at my journal entries in the last couple years, I am struck at how many times I desire something SO bad and I push and push and push, come back empty, give-up, and I want nothing more than out of that situation, nothing more than an escape. I realized SOMETHING needed to change, and I knew that it wouldn’t be my circumstances. That SOMETHING needed to be my reaction to my shattered dreams. Dreams will shatter, that’s inevitable. My new reaction needed to be stemmed from the knowledge that my ultimate desire and passion needs to be for my God and that when my dreams shatter, only lesser desires shatter because God is my ultimate desire. See, I had it all backwards. My dreams and desires to live in Africa and eradicate HIV/AIDS through health education and program developing became my focus; my dreams to become a mom had become my focus; my dreams for a job in public health had become my focus. These dreams became EVERYTHING that I lived for and when I woke up on my 26th birthday and my life was nowhere near to my ideal of a life, my world shattered.

And out of this darkness and very painful time in my life and through the book, God spoke. In the absolute darkest time of my life, I began to see God’s orchestrated plan. I was allowed to grieve my loss and sit deep in my pain. I didn’t allow anyone to tell me to “get over it.” I allowed myself to feel my deep pain and ache. And in the deep ache in my heart, I realized that Jesus is enough. He is enough despite my circumstances; despite the fact that my dreams may never come to life. He is good and He is enough. Joy has bubbled forth from the deep ache in my heart. I have peace and joy like I have never experienced before. None of my circumstances have changed, but I have God and that is all I need.

Life is hard. Shattered dreams stay shattered. But God continues to remind me that He is enough. And in those times I doubt or am discouraged, I repeat the Lord’s prayer – Your Kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread – Jesus, give me enough to live out this day. As I kept reciting the Lord’s Prayer in my head, my mind kept trying to recite Psalm 23. And so I designed this:
Our Father who is in heaven
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want
Hallowed be Your name
He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside still waters
Your Kingdom come
He restores my soul; He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake
Your will be done
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
On earth as it is in heaven
I fear no evil, for You are with me
Give us this day our daily bread
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me
And forgive us our debts
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies
As we also have forgiven our debtors
You have anointed my head with oil; my cup overflows
And do not lead us into temptation
Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life
But deliver us from evil
And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever
For Yours is the Kingdom and the power and the glory forever.
AMEN

Eating Curry in a Salwar Kameez March 21, 2010

article by Becky Phillips/photo by Tammy Circeo

When my husband and I were first married, we went off on our honeymoon to the South Pacific, and then guess where my groom swept me off to?  You guessed it- India!  Two months after we were married, we took off on a 9 month adventure that truly changed me.

Now you have to understand a little bit about me to know how this trip effected me.  I am a steady kind of gal- I don’t like change much; change in anything. I like to be home, I like to be near family, I like to be at home with family.  So, I fly half-way around the world and landed on what felt like Mars.  Everything smelled, tasted, looked, sounded, felt different.  The sounds of the Hindi language and music were so foreign that it truly was like a different planet. Dogs and cows and buses and bicycles and auto rickshaws and cars and motorcycles all sharing the same roadway.   One block from our third-floor flat was a wedding hall.  The hall would blare the wedding music through a megaphone so everyone could join in the joyous celebration.  The only problem was that sometimes the Hindu priest would decide that the correct time for the wedding was at 3 am!  And then there were the dogs who prowled all night and slept all day.  And did I mention the mosquitoes?

It didn’t take too long before my sweet new husband asked what was wrong, and my answer was “I miss my MOMMMM!”  Of course being the sweet, strong husband that he is, he quickly put on his fix-it cap. He would clear everything up and solve all the problems.  He would help me make good friends and make life fun and interesting.  As we all know, that was not going to work.  He couldn’t solve anything for me.  He couldn’t smooth my path and give me internal balance and consistency.  That job was up to God.

It was in India that I learned to trust God.  Even though I was eating beef curry with my fingers while sitting on the concrete floor while wearing a salwar kameez, I was going to be ok.  The Lord God was my unchanging, constant Rock.  When I was walking the streets of Bangalore, missing family and friends, He walked beside me whispering his presence into my life.

I love what Psalm 142.1 says, “I cry aloud to the Lord; I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy. I pour out my complaint before him; before him I tell my trouble.”  He heard my complaints and my cries and he was there in the midst of them.  I didn’t have to pretend to be happy about it.

By the end of our 9 months in India, my sweet husband and I agreed that if God called us to a longer stint we would listen.  I learned to trust him and his presence so completely that I was willing to roll with the waves of change.

Being Known December 4, 2009

article by Melissa Twitchell/ photo by Christiana Childers

Well, God continues to show me how much He loves me in some of the most ordinary and simple ways but also in the most extraordinary ways.

I have felt extremely isolated in the last couple of months. Like Becky, I am new to the area so my long-time friends and family are far away. I also work remotely for a health care system in Oregon, so the people I work with are long distance too.

I started to focus on how lonely I was feeling. I cried about it several times.  With the baby coming, I didn’t see any new opportunities for relationship building in the near future and my existing relationships seemed stalled.

I even wondered about who would throw me a baby shower.  Don’t get me wrong when I say this…I just wanted to have a local relationship that would be far enough along and deep enough for this to occur.  I do have one person that fits that definition but her life had more than enough going on in it.

Why was I so lonely?  What was bothering me so much about it this time?  I thought about John and me not really having strong roots here or anywhere because we’ve moved around quite a bit.  I wondered about what this would mean as we raised our child?  Who would fill those supporting roles in our child’s life? I started to pray about it.

One recent Sunday morning, I was in the shower thinking about it again and the reason started to solidify.  I wanted to be known, to be missed, to be valued.  How many people really know me?

Almost immediately, Psalm 139 came to mind. It’s one of my favorite Psalms.  It’s about how God searches and knows the author inside and out.  It’s about how God knew about the author before he was even born and had all his ordained days written in His book. It hit me hard…God knows me!  He knows me in a way that I have only dreamed about.  And because He knows me that should be sufficient for me.  I felt better.

That morning I prayed at breakfast and asked that He would speak directly to me that morning.  That morning Pastor Jonathan was teaching on Phil 1:12-26.  His two takeaways spoke to me.  The first was centering all aspects of our lives on Jesus.  That when we lose focus things tend to go awry.  This was part of my problem.  Over the last couple of months, I have let my focus slip.  I have been focusing on my physical pain, my loneliness, planning for the baby, on John’s employment situation and definitely not my relationship with Jesus Christ. The second take away hit home with me…

We were to make much of Christ and our actions should make Him known. I should be worried about making Jesus Christ and what He has to offer known…not about making myself known.  What Jesus has to offer me thrills me or at least it used to.  I remembered when I first really understood what His offer meant to me and how I wanted to share that with everyone. It had been awhile since I had felt that way.  I was so humbled and thrilled to have heard from Him so clearly.  I felt a million times better and didn’t even think about feeling lonely until the next night.

The following day, God showed me I was known both by Him and others in eight different, unique and definitely God-inspired situations. In one situation, I had heard from one of my co-worker on maternity leave who logged into her email to wish me a ‘Happy Birthday’, to tell me that she missed talking to me and she would try to call and talk later in the week.  In another situation, John heard from someone in our Sunday class that he had missed seeing us in class yesterday.  The other situations were just as random and awesome.  I think the most awesome situation, which also was my last situation from the day, was an offer by someone to throw me a baby shower.  This is the same person who has so much going on in her life that I would have never fathomed her volunteering.

I felt so incredibly loved by God that evening.  I knew that without a doubt it was all God’s doing.  I knew that He gave me all these to remind me of His love for me and to let me know He knew all of my needs.  My job was to focus on His Son and make much of Him and the rest will fall the way it is suppose to.

The Rest of the Story… November 18, 2009

article by Lauren Neal, for Melissa Twitchell; photo by John Twitchell

I wanted to give the “rest of the story”, for Melissa. As you will see below, God has done a miraculous work in her (and John’s life) in the past weeks. God has fulfilled her desire to become a mother, as well as, more than she could have thought to ask for. She sent an email out to some of us, a week or so before delivering sweet baby Jackson, outlining some of her impending fears. She used that email to show how God answered each and every one of her fears, and then some! Isn’t He always that way?! Please read below how He worked in her life, and praise your God for how He works in your life, too!

Two weeks ago, I wrote you all with some unexpected circumstances and prayer requests.  Tonight, I am writing to give an update on our situation and on those prayer requests.

Fear 1) The baby is able to stay in as long as feasible.  If the baby comes early, the baby is born with no major complications and will be able to be with us and spend little time in the NICU.

Answer 1) Jackson was able to stay in 10 extra days and was born on Monday, 11/16 @ 1:24 AM.  He spent a total of 36 hours in the Special Delivery Nursery (not NICU) with no major issues. He was able to come home with us yesterday and has already surpassed his birth weight (he’s now 5 lbs).  Doctors & nurses are saying he is doing great.

Fear 2) We have peace about this surprise, really trust God and let Him handle the details and for us to “obtain” a parent mindset.  I don’t exactly feel like a ‘Mom’ yet.

Answer 2) I was at peace with delivering Jackson 3-4 weeks early and especially so with the level of medical care we were receiving.  I definitely am in Mommy mode and love my little guy in a way I can’t quite describe yet.  John is ecstatic to have Jackson here and loves holding and taking naps (the few we can) with him.

Fear 3) Our moving will go smoothly and I, Melissa to be at peace with not being involved in it.

Answer 3) We were moved and moved quickly.  My sister, Mindy was sent down from Alaska to help us for little over a week and John’s mom came for a day to help with the actual move.  We were unpacked and had everything that “needed” to get done done before I was re-admitted into the hospital this last Saturday morning.

Fear 4) I, Melissa am able to finish up transition pieces at work tomorrow (using my laptop at the hospital) and be able to be finished with work for now.

Answer 4) I was able to go back to work for a few more days when I was discharged from the hospital last week.  I was able to “finish” enough for me to be able to walk away for the next three months.

Fear 5) John interviewed for a great position this week.  Pray that this is the job for John and we don’t need to worry about what this month early change might have on our savings and finances.

Answer 5) Today, John accepted an offer from this position/interview.  This job has been a perfect job fit for him from the very beginning. The timing of every aspect of this job/interview process has been impeccable and only God’s doing.  After a counter offer, he was offered what we needed and was given one extra week of vacation a year.  John and I both agree that the extra week of vacation is so valuable and worth more than extra money.   John starts Monday, November 30 so Jackson and I have him for a little bit longer here at home.

I know some of this is somewhat redundant with the other emails John & I have sent out.  But when I went to send an email stating we were home and the news about John’s employment situation, I remembered this specific list I had sent out.  After reviewing it, I am once again amazed and humbled at God’s provisions, timing and His ways of accomplishing His plans.  I sit here and look at my sleeping son and it brought tears of gratitude and love for Him and for our friends and family who have been incredibly supportive of us during this time in prayer, words of encouragement and actions. Thank you again.

A Story with My God November 11, 2009

article by Lauren Neal/photo by Christiana Childers

I had a cancer scare last February. Breast cancer. I am 33 years old. That isn’t supposed to happen when you’re 33 and a busy mom of 3.

Briefly, the story is sort of comical (now). Had a pain, MD felt a lump, she sent me for a mammo, they sent me for an ultrasound, they sent me for a breast aspiration, they sent me for a breast biopsy.  At each “stop”, the person that was treating me said, “Oh, but I’m sure you won’t have to get a….whatever” the next thing was, but then I DID! And, if you’re ever treated for anything like this at Evergreen Hospital, the hospital gets darker, and more ominous the further in you get. The cute little mammogram office, turns into a windowless, smelly biopsy room. It felt cold, lonely, and desolate. When I was waiting for my ultrasound, I even plopped down on the couch, only to turn and see a copy of a ‘Seattle’ magazine, with the “Top Seattle Cancer MDs” Seriously, God? Not funny.

Well, as you may have guessed, I was “fine”. By fine, I mean that I didn’t have cancer. However, somehow, I came out of that experience very angry. It surprised me. What kind of ungrateful person gets a good cancer report and comes out angry? Me, I guess. I wandered around for about 2 weeks asking God why I was so angry.

First of all, I realized that I had a very “do you know who I am?” type attitude. In that, I am:

1. Young
2. Busy
3. A mom of 3 kids, who isn’t dying right now
4. Have no time for any kind of tests, let alone time to come to any future treatments!

Secondly, and I think the more true answer, I was scared out of my socks. I often say that God gives us little “pop quizzes”….sometimes I pass, and sometimes I fail—miserably. This one I failed. God was loving me. He wanted me to draw to Him. I did. When you fear a cancer diagnosis, and facing the possible “reorganization” of your life, you start to draw near to Him.

As with most women, I am capable, responsible, and independent–of God. I mean, sure He provides for me, but…I’ve got it from here…thanks God! No. I was angry because He was pulling me closer into His lap, and it stung. It stung my pride. As soon as I realized that He was pulling me closer, the pain and anger dissipated. The gratefulness overtook my emotions, and I felt repentant for my attitude.

God may give me breast cancer, someday, but when/if that happens, I will keenly remember this “pop quiz”, so that I can (hopefully) pass the “big test”.  But, let’s be honest…I’ll probably fail then, too. However, I will have had more years, in my story with my God, to draw from…and God will never fail.

A Bugs Life October 23, 2009

article by Lauren Neal

I was recently sharing my “life story” with a few new friends, and the final comment, from one of them, was “Wow, you’ve really been through the ringer”. Huh! No one had ever said that to me. Was it true? Yes, probably, but for some reason there was a new “victim pride” feeling that welled up in me. I had the internal thought, “Yeah! I have been through the ringer! I’m pretty sure I’m owed about ten years of ‘feast’”, if you will. Well, the Holy Spirit was quick to grab that word “owed” and bring it to my attention. I kind of got a little sick to my stomach over the thought that I might have been owed some blessing due to the difficult circumstances I’d been through. I’ve known that this is not how God operates.

This pity party mentality is not new to me. In high school, I had my bedroom downstairs in the basement of a Georgia home. The deep south and I didn’t see eye to eye. I’d moved there with my family, when I was 16, and was none too happy. Well, my basement room had a foundation problem that was allowing these maggot-looking bugs to come up through the foundation, through the carpet, and into my room. You, literally, had to put shoes on to walk through my room! Of course, my parents said, “Yuck! Move upstairs to share a room with your brother”. And, I laid on my bed, looking down at the bugs, and said, “No. I’m fine.” I laugh at that now because I so clearly just pitied my own circumstances, and it was more satisfying to wallow in them, than to actually focus on moving forward. I thought I was owed something more and just moving upstairs wasn’t going to fix THAT!

I’m owed nothing. You’re owed nothing. God is ridiculously good, giving, and loving. He met me on my bed, and we talked a lot. I cried a lot. That bug-room was, I think, the first place where I heard His voice. I’d been a Christian for quite a while at that point, but wallowing in my pity was where He met me….down with the bugs. Sometimes we just have to stay alone and quiet to hear Him. When I hear myself talking about being owed, He is quick to remind me about the bugs, and how He eventually pulled me out of there, and gave me so much more than living upstairs!

Being Six October 19, 2009

article and photo by Paula Guest

Very soon after my grandson Dillan’s, fifth birthday he asked his mother in frustration and anger, “Why won’t God let me be six?”  She answered him, “Oh, Honey, He will.  But it’s not time yet for you to be six.”

We smile at a child’s frustration at being five when what he really wants is to be six.  As adults we know that he will be six all too soon.  But how often do we react the same way?  Not satisfied with what we have, what we are, but always demanding something more.

God’s timing.  We know that God’s timing is perfect.  We know that ‘in His time’ all things are made perfect.  But we want what we want, and we want it NOW!  So often, we are not able to find satisfaction in the present because we are so sure that whatever it is that we are craving, striving for, is absolutely necessary to our very existence.

In retrospect, it is easy to see that God’s hand was moving, and His timing was perfect. It is easy to see that there is value in the wait, in the doing without, because that is where growth happens.  But in the ‘here and now’ waiting is often incredibly painful, and being STILL and waiting, feels impossible.

I remember with great clarity the pain of infertility.  I wanted a baby, and I wanted one NOW!  Six years God asked us to wait.  Six years is a long time to wait when you are young, and quite sure your plan, and your timing are the perfect ones.  Even now, as I remember the pain of that wait, tears are near the surface.  In retrospect, God was not telling us ‘no’, He was telling us ‘wait.’  But we didn’t know that.  And it hurt. In those six years, I wonder now, how much joy did I miss in being a couple because I was so fixated on being a family?

“Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have.”  So much wisdom in that statement.  Is it part of the human condition to always be striving after, yearning for, something more than you have??  In being satisfied with what God has blessed us with, comes that ‘peace that passes all understanding.’  And that peace is a peace I continue to seek.  It is a condition that is not a ‘human condition’ but a ‘heavenly condition.’

In two weeks, Dillan will turn six.  I wonder, will he be satisfied with being six, or will he demand of God to hurry up and make him seven??

Paula would like you to visit Frontline for Justice

Patience and Waiting: My Two Year Lesson (part 3 of 3) October 9, 2009

article by Melissa Twitchell

A Surprising Answer & Lessons Learned
In the middle of March, Women’s Ministries held their annual Women’s Retreat.  I was coming out of my deep grieving but was scared about going and not being able to get past a conversation without having to divulge that John and I didn’t have children.  My friends that I had gone with the previous year where not able to come this year…I was on my own.  I prayed to God that He would get me through this weekend and not allow me to dwell on my grief.  I needed a break.  I will say that the first night was rough as most women get to know each other by talking about their husband and especially their children.  The rest of the weekend was good, though and He did give me a break from my grief.  In fact, that break continued and I was reminded that God was in control and His timing is always perfect.

So for the next couple of weeks, I had hope again and was settling into a peacefully waiting mode.  I was doing a Psalms study that year.  That week’s lesson was on God’s provision of needs, wants and desire. On the night of March 31st, I had just finished doing my daily lesson and was thinking about my desire for children and I needed to go to the bathroom.
Let’s just say that I am extremely regular and almost never late.  This month I was a little late and had two pregnancy tests that were going to expire. So without telling John, I grabbed one and ran into the bathroom. Once I took the test, the pregnancy positive line showed up faster than the base line. I was shocked but knew what it meant.
I thanked God right then and there in my bathroom before running out to show my shocked husband. After I told him twice and showed him the test, I just started to cry. We couldn’t believe we were pregnant! I had a hard time sleeping that night. The next day I was changing my daily Psalms calendar when I noticed my verse for March 31. It read:

He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be astounded. They will put their trust in the Lord~ Psalm 40:3

God had given me a new song of praise for Him. He had answered our prayers and given us a child in an awesome way!  We are still currently waiting for the birth of our first child who should be born around December 8th.

When I look back at our nearly two year journey, I see and have learned several things about myself, God and my relationship with Him.  When I think about why it took me so long to just wait patiently, it boils down to my lack of trust in Him.

In the beginning, I wasn’t relying on God and just assumed that we could make it happen in our timing. As a result, my impatience and pushiness caused some martial strife.  At the beginning of year two, I was starting to learn to rely on Him and learning to wait.  But I didn’t fully understand His silence in response to my prayers in January.  He had told me to wait and I didn’t really. I thought I needed to take action on my own understanding and timing, trusting that God would guide me as I went.  He did but it resulted in me seeing closed doors that caused me deep grief. If I had waited for Him, I may not have had to go some of those low points.

It wasn’t until I put away my efforts and fully trusted in His provision and timing that I was able to experience true peace and lasting hope. Also as a result of this journey, my faith grew enormously.  He was always there, heard my prayers, responded to my first real coming to Him for direction and had given me my desire to be a mother in such a way that it was unquestionably Him.

When I think on His timing of granting me this desire, I am continually amazed.  His timing allowed Him to transform me into a more patient person and into a deeper relationship with Him and His Son. Both of which will ultimately help me be a better mom. He transformed my marriage into a healthier marriage…a marriage that will be able to withstand the addition of parenting roles and be a great living example for our children.  He also used the time to get John and me to reprioritize our life and financial goals and ultimately prepared us and our faith for our next big life challenge.

I know that most people would think that would be parenting but for us, John was laid off four weeks after finding out we were pregnant.  The funny thing was that neither of us has had more than a moment of panic because we both had experienced God in our infertility journey.

We knew that God would provide for us while John looking for a job and would ultimately give John the right job at the right time.  At the time of this writing, John has been laid off for four months and still no strong leads.  We’re still trusting in God’s provision and are peacefully waiting…

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