Women’s Ministries

Out of my heart, under my breath November 29, 2011

By Amanda Williams
http://deeperstory.com

“Mama, what does ‘dammit’ mean?”

The fact that my four year old daughter didn’t ask me this question at lunchtime is by God’s sheer grace. And possibly the magnetic pull of her fingers and attention to spilled Cheerios on the kitchen counter.

I don’t even remember now why I said it. It could have been any number of things, really. Maybe a stubborn high chair or a thrown sandwich.

The half hour trek from Bible study to the gas station to the pharmacy drive-thru to home was filled with so much whining my ears were ringing from the pitch of it. There was the quick detour on the porch for the boys to dump the dirt out of a plant I’ve been trying to rescue from an untimely demise, and then the chaos that ensued once we walked in the door… Well. Let’s just say Mama was on edge.

I’ll be honest. Four-letter words and I are not strangers. I grew up a good southern church girl, for the most part leaving colorful expressions to friends much bolder than me. But somewhere between the birth of the boys and the potty training of the girl it became a near-daily occurrence, this muttering under my breath the tiny words I would never let a stranger – and rarely a friend – hear me say aloud.

It is out of character for me, after all. Isn’t it?

In my lame defense, the victims of my one-word tirades are usually inanimate objects. A cup of juice knocked to the ground in my hurry to close the fridge. The mysterious smell coming from Lord-knows-where in the kitchen, inevitably encountered upon coming home from a rare out of the house adventure. The toy found by the bottom my bare feet in an effort to sneak out of the boys’ room in the dark.

The cat eating paper, or the dog who barks at thunder. And other dogs. And fireworks. And anything that moves or breathes.

Ok, so they aren’t all inanimate objects.

The point is, it became a coping mechanism. There weren’t any adults around to say adult words to — or anything to, for that matter — so I said them to myself. Those days were (and often still are) long and isolated and hard, so I exercised the freedom to vent to myself on occasion. No big deal.

It made me feel better. And anyone who has ever had the job knows, a day as a stay-at-home parent of small children is not unlike an episode of Survivor. We’re all just trying to make it through another day on the island.

I remember hearing once that who we really are is who we are under pressure. Life squeezes hard and the real me is what comes out.

Today the real me didn’t even bother to whisper. And now I’m thanking God that my children didn’t bother to listen.

This is not a post about whether it is okay for a Christian to curse. Those kinds of debates — the kind that college Amanda thrived on — tend to go round and round, from liberty to responsibility and back again. Honestly, I don’t have the intellectual or emotional energy to chase that tail any more. It doesn’t interest me.

The question that stirs me now is not one of legalism versus grace, sanctification versus sin. It is, What is going on with my heart that makes me utter bitterness with my mouth?

What is happening in me that can make me speak words of anger — ABOUT A SANDWICH, for crying out loud — in the face of my children?

Why am I doing what I’m doing? Why am I saying what I’m saying?

With what am I filling my heart and, in turn, my children? Better yet, with what am I not?

I’m afraid the answers to these questions aren’t pretty. And unfortunately, I’m not ramping up here to the reveal of some magic formula to make the struggle disappear. Truth be told, I suspect there isn’t one.

All I am confident of is that the answer is ongoing, one that you and I will get to spend years uncovering. And also, that it has something to do with Jesus.

Mommy Tip of the Day – Work While You Play February 12, 2011

Moms, do you ever struggle with the pull between getting stuff done and playing with your kids? I do. I want to be with them and enjoy them…but there’s just only so much time in the day. Here are a few ways that I have found to combine the worlds of work and play.

Hide and Go Seek – This game is a classic favorite. The trick is…mom hides somewhere that something needs to be done. For example – hide in the laudry room and switch the load of laundry. Hide in your closet and hang up a basket of laudry. You would think the kids would learn to check the laundry room first each time…nope!

Sink Play – Fill up your sink with some water,  cups, spoons, etc. Pull up a stool and have you little ones play in the sink while you make dinner. Sure…some water is going to spill on the floor…but hey…the smiles are worth it!

Read aloud & laundry - I love this trick because it lets the whole family be together. Pile the kids and dad into the biggest bed you have right before bed time. Let dad read the stories to the kids while you fold a load of laundry. It’s amazing how much more fun it is to do laundry when you are thinking about how cute your kids are all snuggled up next to dad! (Is it me  –  or does the laundry never end?!)

These are just a few ideas to get you started! We’d love to hear your great ideas too!

~Julie Guest

Mommy tip of the day: Timer-Time January 29, 2011

submitted by Lauren Neal

So, this tip is for those parents whose small children have been recently “upgraded” to a big-boy/big-girl bed, but they’re having a little trouble actually staying in the bed….you know what I’m talkin’ about! This idea, actually came from my lovely friend, Rebecca Wheeler, years ago.

The jist is that you set a timer, for your dear child and the timer tells your child that its bedtime, not you. I know, I know…I’m as in control over here as ever, but this is just a little parenting sleight of hand, and it really works. You have to get everyone completely ready for bed, teeth brushed, books read, NOT prayers–later. Then, set the timer, and set it up on top of something high, in your child’s room, not down low, like I did the first time—rookie mistake! I did about 20 min. This is a nice long time…go fold some laundry. When you hear that sound, run in, and say—in your most enthusiastic voice, “Oh, wow! The timer went off, so it must be time for bed!” When they protest, you just say, “Oh, I know. I wish you could play longer, too, but the timer said it was time for bed.”  The kid falls.for.it.every.time.  They will leap into their bed, pull up the covers, and you say, “Ok, let’s pray!”. Then, you pray, kiss, and confidently walk out the door.  Don’t back out…that shows weakness. Stride out confidently, and go downstairs and scoop yourself some ice cream.  Nighty-night.

Preparing My Heart for Grandparenting November 2, 2010

submitted by author and Northshore’s own Lydia Harris

Preparing My Heart for Grandparenting is off the press! And I’m excited to see how God will use this Bible study. Years ago my niece, Ann Marie Stewart, encouraged me to write part of the “Preparing My Heart” Bible study series for AMG Publishers. Ann had written other studies in the series (Advent, Easter, and Motherhood) and saw the need for one on grandparenting. Although I had published hundreds of stories, devotions, articles, book reviews, and columns, writing a Bible study was a new genre for me.

Now, 18 months after I signed the contract to write Preparing My Heart for Grandparenting, I’m thrilled to introduce my new “baby.” This study was homegrown at Northshore Baptist Church as members prayed, encouraged me, and shared stories and quotes. As you read it, you’ll find the fingerprints of Northshore pastors and wives and numerous grandparents, some of whom have been married over 50 years and have 24 or more grandchildren! What a wealth of wisdom!
This six-week Bible study affirms grandparents in their significant role and offers creative and fun ideas to use with grandkids. It encourages grandparents to set a good example, join their grandkids’ fan club, and intentionally pass on their faith. Since grandparenting isn’t all fun and games, the book also includes ways to handle tears and disappointments.
The study is suitable to do alone, as a couple, and in church or community groups. Although written for grandparents, others without grandchildren said, “It’s useful for anyone involved with children.”
Those who tested the study had grandchildren from preschool age to adults. Their comments included, “It enriched my ideas of grandparenting, I loved the heartwarming stories, and it encouraged me to pray.”  The humorous stories from dozens of grandparents make it lighthearted. The Scripture and thought-provoking questions make it deep.
God equipped me to write this God-sized project through my teaching and writing background, my experiences as a grandmother of five, and biblical training at Northshore Baptist. If you’re a grandparent or know someone who is, please help me spread the word. Consider this combination Bible study and how-to book for yourself or as a gift. For more information, including sample pages of the lessons, go to www.PreparingMyHeart.net. You can also read my grandparenting blog there.
Please pray with me that God will use this Bible study to bless future generations. To God be the glory!

** Click this link to order the book via Amazon and NSB will get part of the proceeds.

Mothering Together at Northshore July 24, 2010

Despite her being a week late, the birth of my firstborn truly changed my entire perspective on the world. I’ve often said that young mothers actually need to walk around with a t-shirt that says, “I do have a brain”, just to reaffirm to others that despite the crazy circumstances we find ourselves in, we do have some intelligence left. God uses these situations to speak to me, sometimes more often than I would like.

When my daughter was 2 and my son was 6 months, she was in the bath tub, while I was cooing to my son on the floor outside the tub. Suddenly I felt something hit my head, being thrown from the tub. Initially thinking it was a toy, I looked down, and realized it was a piece of poop. Hmm…where’s that t-shirt and the candid camera? Humility is something I’ve just started to learn. Things don’t always go as planned, and that’s right where God likes us. Relying on Him.

If any of this seems familiar to you, and you’d like to join the group with the “t-shirts”, we’d love to have you at MOPS. MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) is for moms and their kids, age infancy thru Kindergarten. We meet twice a month, in the Student Center. We have snacks (code: uninterrupted time for you to eat your own food), a craft that you can complete in one sitting, and a speaker on various topics pertaining to mothering, marriage, etc. I love being a mother, both from the standpoint that it’s an adventure everyday, and that most days it’s just God and me, making it thru. Please come join us and let others support you in your adventure! We’d love to have you. Register now, as we often have a waiting list. Our first meeting is Sept 17 at 9:15a!

Also, if you’re not sure about MOPS, but would like to talk mothering (or anything else) with me, I’d love to chat. Feel free to contact me at mops@nsb.org!

Lauren Neal, MOPS Coordinator

Favorite parks July 20, 2010

by Julie Guest

Moms!

Summer is well underway and you might be looking for a few new things to do with your kids this week. Here a few of my favorite new parks and a couple of the old stand-bys. I’d love to hear about your favorite parks too…and I promise not to take your parking spot when we go!

Grass Lawn Park – (Redmond/Kirkland area) – This park is amazing! It was recently re-done…so if you haven’t been since you were in 6th grade (in my case!)…give it another try. It has different play structures for kids of all ages – all visible from one “mommy watch station”.

Kirkland Tot Lot - This is such a sweet, neighborhood park! It is completely fenced, has a great big sandbox (bring your own shovels), swings, and a super fun slide. We have sadly out grown this park…if I went with my kids now I’d be “that mom” of “those big boys” that I didn’t like when my kids were toddlers!

Log Boom Park – (Kenmore) – Biking families will love Log Boom Park on the Burke-Gilman Train in Kenmore. It has some great play equipment for the kids and is a good spot to stop for a water break. It is about 3 miles from Bothell Landing…a perfect ride for the kids!

Willis-Tucker Park (South Everett/Silver Firs Neighborhood) – It’s a water park! Yup…you heard it…there is water! This park has fun splash fountains, a great playground, basketball courts, and even an off-leash dog park (fenced and separated from the play area…of course!) The locals are NOT going to be happy we found out about this one!!!

Suburban Sarah Comics May 9, 2010

Happy Mother’s Day

More Suburban Sarah is available on-line by clicking the comic.

Mommy Tip of the Day April 15, 2010

It’s 5 pm.

You are tired.

Your husband is out of town.

The kids are wild and hungry.

It’s a McDonald’s Play Land kind of night!

Here’s an idea to make that outing even easier for you! Go through the Drive Thru to get your food and then park and go in! The benefits are: 1) your children are strapped down while they are waiting for their food 2) someone else fills your drinks for you. NOTE: This idea works best with little people who can carry their own food back into the Playland…you don’t want to be caught short handed!

The Rest of the Story… November 18, 2009

article by Lauren Neal, for Melissa Twitchell; photo by John Twitchell

I wanted to give the “rest of the story”, for Melissa. As you will see below, God has done a miraculous work in her (and John’s life) in the past weeks. God has fulfilled her desire to become a mother, as well as, more than she could have thought to ask for. She sent an email out to some of us, a week or so before delivering sweet baby Jackson, outlining some of her impending fears. She used that email to show how God answered each and every one of her fears, and then some! Isn’t He always that way?! Please read below how He worked in her life, and praise your God for how He works in your life, too!

Two weeks ago, I wrote you all with some unexpected circumstances and prayer requests.  Tonight, I am writing to give an update on our situation and on those prayer requests.

Fear 1) The baby is able to stay in as long as feasible.  If the baby comes early, the baby is born with no major complications and will be able to be with us and spend little time in the NICU.

Answer 1) Jackson was able to stay in 10 extra days and was born on Monday, 11/16 @ 1:24 AM.  He spent a total of 36 hours in the Special Delivery Nursery (not NICU) with no major issues. He was able to come home with us yesterday and has already surpassed his birth weight (he’s now 5 lbs).  Doctors & nurses are saying he is doing great.

Fear 2) We have peace about this surprise, really trust God and let Him handle the details and for us to “obtain” a parent mindset.  I don’t exactly feel like a ‘Mom’ yet.

Answer 2) I was at peace with delivering Jackson 3-4 weeks early and especially so with the level of medical care we were receiving.  I definitely am in Mommy mode and love my little guy in a way I can’t quite describe yet.  John is ecstatic to have Jackson here and loves holding and taking naps (the few we can) with him.

Fear 3) Our moving will go smoothly and I, Melissa to be at peace with not being involved in it.

Answer 3) We were moved and moved quickly.  My sister, Mindy was sent down from Alaska to help us for little over a week and John’s mom came for a day to help with the actual move.  We were unpacked and had everything that “needed” to get done done before I was re-admitted into the hospital this last Saturday morning.

Fear 4) I, Melissa am able to finish up transition pieces at work tomorrow (using my laptop at the hospital) and be able to be finished with work for now.

Answer 4) I was able to go back to work for a few more days when I was discharged from the hospital last week.  I was able to “finish” enough for me to be able to walk away for the next three months.

Fear 5) John interviewed for a great position this week.  Pray that this is the job for John and we don’t need to worry about what this month early change might have on our savings and finances.

Answer 5) Today, John accepted an offer from this position/interview.  This job has been a perfect job fit for him from the very beginning. The timing of every aspect of this job/interview process has been impeccable and only God’s doing.  After a counter offer, he was offered what we needed and was given one extra week of vacation a year.  John and I both agree that the extra week of vacation is so valuable and worth more than extra money.   John starts Monday, November 30 so Jackson and I have him for a little bit longer here at home.

I know some of this is somewhat redundant with the other emails John & I have sent out.  But when I went to send an email stating we were home and the news about John’s employment situation, I remembered this specific list I had sent out.  After reviewing it, I am once again amazed and humbled at God’s provisions, timing and His ways of accomplishing His plans.  I sit here and look at my sleeping son and it brought tears of gratitude and love for Him and for our friends and family who have been incredibly supportive of us during this time in prayer, words of encouragement and actions. Thank you again.

And the Winner is…… November 15, 2009

article and photo by Becky Phillips

My oldest is seven years old and full of fire.  Emma is passionate about just about everything, from her favorite food (candy) to her favorite movie (Twelve Dancing Princesses) to bedtime (never).  She can argue until the cows come home or until she gets what she wants.  Round after round, her words hit my ears as we box away.  You’d think that there was actually a fiscal reward for the number of words that constantly stream out.   Most recently Emma has been arguing over a pet.  We’re all allergic to dogs and cats, fortunately, so she’s been pursuing other avenues.  She especially would like “a rabbit or a guinea pig.”  However, I have a distinct aversion to smelly pets.  So, the arguer won, and we all agreed on…. a beta fish!  Little Baby Purple is its name, and Emma couldn’t be happier.  Except two days later, “Mommy, when can we think about getting a rabbit or a guinea pig?”  My husband and I wonder if she may be a lawyer when she grows up.  Sometimes I wonder if she’ll have a daughter who argues as well as she (that’ll teach her).

My daughter reminds me of me.  I can also argue with the best of them.  Most specifically I can argue with God (and my husband).  I get so frustrated when I feel un-listened-to or left out or anxious about tomorrow, or lonely.  The list goes on.

But oh my goodness as I think about how Emma’s words pour out of her mouth and into my ears, I think of how I must sound to God.  Blah, blah, blah, blah…. On and on.  However, the Bible is full of examples of God’s action on behalf of his people when they cry out to him:  the Israelites in Egypt, Hannah’s desire for a child,   And finally, 1 John 5.14: “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us.”  Thankfully, the Lord is full of mercy and grace when we are right with him.  Our good God listens as an attentive Father who desires the best for his sons and daughters. So, even if I’m pouring out my words to him and it just sounds like a mess to me, He hears me and cares.