So I was sitting on my porch this afternoon soaking in some much needed sunshine. It has been a perfectly gorgeous winter day, and since today was a public holiday in South Africa, I had the day off of work. It’s Women’s Day! I spent most of my “holiday” working on my to do list, cleaning the kitchen, balancing my budget, making international calls etc. and then this afternoon I decided to take a break…
So there I was, kicked back on my bench, sunglasses on, pant legs rolled up just reading my Bible, when a slim black woman a few years younger than me with the classic-African-baby-tied-to-her-back walked past.
I can only assume that even though today is a national holiday, she was most likely walking home from some type of domestic work. I hate to assume, but realistically, there really aren’t a lot of other reasons that a young black woman would be in an all white neighborhood on a holiday. I kind of doubt she was returning from a late lunch date.
I smiled at her in a casual friendly kind of way, and she responded with a shy, head-tilted-down, kind of smile that widened as it spread across her face.
When I raised my hand to wave back to her, I was blinded by the brilliant smile that lit up her whole face. I couldn’t help but be struck by how beautiful she was. Seriously, she was gorgeous in a completely pure and lovely kind of way. Tall, poised, graceful, deep dark skin and more radiant than the sun beating down on my legs.
And do you know what? She then proceeded to wish me a “Happy Women’s Day.”
“Who, me? YOU are wishing ME a Happy Women’s Day?”
“Me, the privileged white lady kicking it on her porch? While YOU just worked hard all day for a few pennies for a family that isn’t your own, in some other woman’s house, taking care of some other people’s dirty laundry and raising kids as if they were your own, you are wishing something for me?
You, who are walking home to a shack, hungry and tired with a baby on your back are wishing pleasant things for me? You are wishing for something better for all women everywhere, even the ones that have more than you do and then some? You who are the other side of the fence from my manicured lawn and barking dogs and perfectly tiled porch, while I work on my tan and use my private education to read my Bible, you desire for me to be happy today? For me to get a break and rest and be celebrated as the woman I was created to be?
I think my heart stopped beating for a solid minute.
I only barely managed to get out the words, “Why thank you, you too!” And then I burst into tears. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to crawl inside and hide in shame, or run across the yard and hug her for all that she was clearly worth.
I imagine that it might be the same feeling you would have if a soldier hunkered down under enemy fire, fighting for his life, wished you a Happy Veteran’s Day as you were lighting up the grill and your kids ran around the yard in the sprinkler. Or if your Mom had just given you ten cookies, only to catch your greedy hand in the cookie jar yet again. It’s just too much to handle. It’s embarrassing. Maybe it would stop you in your tracks for a minute and make you think too.
It’s just that those kinds of parallel events don’t usually collide in front of you. They aren’t supposed to exist in the same place at the same time. They should happen far apart, you know, so that you can think about the nature of juxtaposing situations from a safe philosophical distance, and contemplate exactly how one would navigate within such a vast contrast of circumstances.
But here? They happen in my own backyard, shoving me headlong out of philosophy and into actuality. And in actuality? She wished things for me that she doesn’t yet have for herself.
Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. She had good things stored up in her heart towards me, and she doesn’t even know me.
But I do believe that she knows something greater and deeper and truer about selflessness than I do. And about dignity. And about noble behavior. And about being a real life embodiment of the woman I endeavor to be.
And you know what? She reminds me of someone…
A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Happy Women’s Day to you. May you be the kind of woman who is worthy to be praised.
Submission from Julie Guest, as seen on a blog by Amy Helms. Ms. Helms volunteers with Living Hope Community Centre in Cape Town, South Africa.
