Being Six October 19, 2009
article and photo by Paula Guest
Very soon after my grandson Dillan’s, fifth birthday he asked his mother in frustration and anger, “Why won’t God let me be six?” She answered him, “Oh, Honey, He will. But it’s not time yet for you to be six.”
We smile at a child’s frustration at being five when what he really wants is to be six. As adults we know that he will be six all too soon. But how often do we react the same way? Not satisfied with what we have, what we are, but always demanding something more.
God’s timing. We know that God’s timing is perfect. We know that ‘in His time’ all things are made perfect. But we want what we want, and we want it NOW! So often, we are not able to find satisfaction in the present because we are so sure that whatever it is that we are craving, striving for, is absolutely necessary to our very existence.
In retrospect, it is easy to see that God’s hand was moving, and His timing was perfect. It is easy to see that there is value in the wait, in the doing without, because that is where growth happens. But in the ‘here and now’ waiting is often incredibly painful, and being STILL and waiting, feels impossible.
I remember with great clarity the pain of infertility. I wanted a baby, and I wanted one NOW! Six years God asked us to wait. Six years is a long time to wait when you are young, and quite sure your plan, and your timing are the perfect ones. Even now, as I remember the pain of that wait, tears are near the surface. In retrospect, God was not telling us ‘no’, He was telling us ‘wait.’ But we didn’t know that. And it hurt. In those six years, I wonder now, how much joy did I miss in being a couple because I was so fixated on being a family?
“Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have.” So much wisdom in that statement. Is it part of the human condition to always be striving after, yearning for, something more than you have?? In being satisfied with what God has blessed us with, comes that ‘peace that passes all understanding.’ And that peace is a peace I continue to seek. It is a condition that is not a ‘human condition’ but a ‘heavenly condition.’
In two weeks, Dillan will turn six. I wonder, will he be satisfied with being six, or will he demand of God to hurry up and make him seven??
Paula would like you to visit Frontline for Justice
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