My Love October 16, 2009
article by Lauren Neal/photo by http://www.christianachilders.com
I’m just going to be completely honest. The sun rises and sets on my husband being in this house. Fully here. Things in my world are, literally, perfect when he’s here. Ok, so we have arguments. Heck, we’re both first born, so we’re both always right, all the time. But, when it gets down to brass tax, the man that I have known and loved deeply is my best friend, and I wouldn’t want to do life without him.
Pastor Jonathan recently preached about David losing it all…friends, marriage, mentor, job. During this message, I was contemplating the following: How do I love someone deeply and not allow them to become an idol in my life? If I’m constantly on guard about my husband not becoming an idol, then how do I give myself over to loving him more fully than I did yesterday? When you’re on guard, you’re not fully present and open. I can’t believe that this is how God intended marriage: “Ok, my people, love your spouse as Christ loves the church, but always watch yourself that you don’t love them too much, otherwise they’re your idol up on the pedestal”. You could obviously substitute anything in place of where I have my husband…job, children, parents.
The intersection of love and fear is not a place I like to live. I don’t have an answer, but I am praying about how God is going to reveal His love to me, through my husband. Is that it? Maybe. If I’m loving Jon the way Christ loved the church, and he’s loving me the same way, then aren’t we making the love (blessing) that God gave us the focus, more that the other person possibly becoming the idol? God is allowing me to experience His love for me, through Jon, for this season of my life. I guess we’re also smoothing out each other’s “rough” spots, in order to make us more Christ-like, so that we can love each other more truly–the way Christ loved the church….its cyclical! Anyway you look at it, love is messy!
I’d love comments to this pondering. Hmmm…..
AAAAHHHH! I wonder about this too, whether it’s Wayne or the kids that I’m putting in that spot. I guess for me the question comes to- do you love Wayne/the kids more than Jesus? To what point are you willing to obey Him? Kind of like Abraham and Isaac. Thank goodness this isn’t O.T. times! But, what does that look like for me today? Makes me think of those missionary parents who live separated from their children- is that the kind of scary obedience? I end up just going back to, am I right with Jesus? A kind of constant checking in and listening.
What a wonderful blessing you have with Jon, Lauren! It sounds like God is choosing to reveal a facet of Himself through the connection you have with your husband. I think you are on the right track because it sounds like your love for Jon is leading you…back to The Creator. I think if what you love so much inspires thoughts about God and His goodness then it isn’t so much an idol. I’m thinking back to Moses and the wilderness and how God’s people wandered off into sinful lives and rituals while Moses went up to the mountaintop. Moses was so angry at the false idols they were worshipping and following because God seemed completely removed; God was forgotten. That doesn’t sound true in your case! You’re thinking,pondering,examining, with God right there.
I’ve always wondering about how to love God more than anything or anyONE else. It seems so backwards. My love for John means so much more than anything or anyone else on this earth. When I started walking with God a few years ago, I worried about this again. The understanding that came to me was that I can love God whole-heartedly and without reservation and as long as I was doing that, my love for John didn’t suffer or diminish…in fact grew abundantly in a healthy way.
If I ever do start to wonder about whether I am moving our marriage up to my number one priority, I always go back to the concept of sacrifice. Would I be willing to sacrifice or diminish my relationship with God to better my relationship with John? The answer for me the last few years is always a resounding NO! Isn’t it great that we can put our relationship with Him first and it has the opposite effect with our other relationships! I don’t know…I wonder if it will always be a check and balance task for me. That’s not a bad thing though!
I think you are in the right mindset!